what if?

if you were given the chance, to go back in time and change one thing, just one thing, what would that be?

has this ever cross your mind? even just for a second?

me? quite a few times actually.

i have this habit of thinking of "what ifs"..

what if i didn't do that..

what if i said this instead? 

what if i just kept quiet.. 

this thoughts pass my mind whenever i feel like i did something wrong. not that i regret doing it. it just makes me think why  i did it.

you know that feeling? that you want to turn back time and undo what you did? or go back a few years and tell your self then NOT to do it?

THINGS would be completely different.
its like the butterfly effect.

if you change one thing in the past, it doesn't matter how small it is, even if deciding not to buy that candy, it will still have have a BIG impact on your future.

let's say i didn't go abroad with my parents and decided to stay with my ate and kuya in the Philippines.
this I think would have had happened to me:

• maybe I continued studying high school in Manila.
• maybe the "thing" i had with Adrian would have worked.
• or if it didn't i would have met someone else.
• i'm in college now doing what i wanted to be when i was still there..(Dentistry)
• i wouldn't have discovered my "writing side"
• no entanglement with james lol...
• i wouldn't have met Babes, krakon, tol, darl,mika,bru and all THEM people..:))
• ohh and.. i wouldn't have met that one person would holds the key to my tear glands.. yep.. tear glands.. 

even if i think of what if, i wouldn't want to change things. i know its very tempting when offered the chance to do so... i wouldn't be a hypocrite and say that i wouldn't be tempted.. i will but maybe i'd go back to a time where i can prevent my self from getting hurt. not emotionally but physically... like getting that scar on my knee.. something as little as that... 

as they say, you learn from your mistakes. sometimes, to learn the most important lessons in life, you got to learn them the hard way. 

that's why even if i cried more times when i met him than i had in the past 3 years.. i wouldn't change anything ... i'd still choose crying for four whole hours and having red, puffy eyes the next day, rather than living smiling and laughing and not knowing how special and loved he makes me feel every time he wipes those tears away..:)  

"you're the reason why i have the strength to
shed the tears inside me.
knowing that once it falls, you're there to wipe them away
and tell me that everything would be alright.
you're there to hold me tight and tell me that
you love me no matter what.
since you came, i know the tears i shed aren't worthless.
you gave meaning to every tear.
it's a reminder that everytime i fall,
you're there to pick me up."
:)
-cay